Amber
There once was a woman called Amber,
(I’m quite sure I told you about her)
So okay she drank blood
But before each one died,
He would concede she sucked like a Hoover
Spinster
I once knew this lady bloodsucker,
(Quite nice once you got down to know her)
But her boyfriends kept dying
Since she couldn’t stop biting,
Soon she feared that she’d go out a spinster
Past Dark
There once was a fellow from Stockton,
Who kept looking for someone to bite him,
He hooked up with this tart
A little past dark,
A pity she kept chewing post-mortem
Mouthfuls
I once had a friend from Seattle,
Who scoffed at the supernatural,
Then he picked up this lady
Who said she liked babies,
He missed that she meant by the mouthful
Glitter
Now there once was a girl named Bella,
Who fell for this pale young fellow,
I tried to convince her
That no vampire could glitter,
But I admit he required much ammo
Toothsome
So my ex had a bit of a problem,
She found boys just a little too toothsome,
It started with Thomas
(Who was tastier than Alex)
Then Tyler and Luke and poor William