Operation It’s a Small War After All: Proper Siege Tactics for Assaulting Disney’s Magic Kingdom

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Presented on Quora to the community was the following odd (but brilliant) question:

Cinderella Castle is the the worldwide-recognized icon of the Disney empire. Physical representations of it stand at the center of two Disney Parks: Walt Disney World in Florida (state), and Tokyo Disneyland.

Assuming it were an actual fortress, how would you take it?

Sergeant Jon Davis, USMC, decided to take a crack at an operational plan. Below is the (slightly redacted) plan of attack:

Phase 1:
A ground must be chosen in which you can quickly secure a foothold into the Magic Kingdom. This position must be easily accessible for the invasion force, provide cover and concealment for the troops and give strategic advantage once taken while depriving the enemy of the same.

For this mission, I choose the area outside the tracks, between Tomorrowland and Main Street USA.

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Phase 2
The next phase would be the first two infantry companies sneaking in through the wooded area in the Southeast between Tomorrowland and Mainstreet, USA. Their primary targets are the train station and entrance to the park (to prevent enemy escape or reinforcements.)

Marines and soldiers are advised to not use the teleporters. They’re a trap. They will only kill your unit and replace him with an evil alien.

Also important is that troops remember to take all underground entry points and gas them to prevent surprise attacks from the tunnels.

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Phase 3
Securing Mainstreet USA (now Mike Station) and Tomorrowland (Tango Base): By this point we should be concerned with securing our assets in Mike Station and Tango Base.

You will see in the map below that I have shown the locations of sniper and machine gun teams along the buildings and alleyways in the two operations centers.

The weapons should be made to cover key positions likely to receive any counter attack through likely avenues of approach with overlapping fields of fire and pinpoint targeting by the snipers.

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Phase 4
An assault force comprised of an infantry company staged in Tango base will attack the back of the castle.

The front of the castle is lined with a moat and the counterattack will be an easy matter if they blow the bridge and your men stand helpless staring at the statue of Walt as they are taken out one by one. Go through Fantasyland and attack the castle in the rear.

Secondary Objective: While in Fantasyland we will have the opportunity to take down the menace of all parents everywhere.

The “It’s a Small World” ride will be within our reach. Our secondary objective is to eliminate the ride with extreme prejudice. This isn’t a capture mission like the castle, but one of complete annihilation.

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The Final Phase
Now that the castle’s main attention is on the defenses of its rear the primary invasion force will be ready to take structure.

Infantry staged at the station will now make their way down Mainstreet and secure the statue and the moat. They will then spread out to secure the other zones of the region as they take the castle. Mission accomplished.

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Via Quora.
Also check out Jon Davis’ My Patreon Support Message as well as his Short Stories and Essays in Military, Science Fiction and Life.

Possessed Doll Purportedly Haunting Singapore

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On a busy street in Singapore, residents discovered a small doll leaning against a tree. The doll looked somewhat antique and had its eyes covered with a cloth.

The cloth had some arabic text written on it meaning “bismillah”, [apparently intended] to trap whatever jinn or curse is inside from coming out or following the owner back home.

Stories from twitter revealed that the doll is possessed and has been moving around on its own when the original owner isn’t home. She binded [sic] the eyes and left it far away from home so it wouldn’t follow her back.

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“Some say the doll can be heard talking when it’s left alone in a room and is found with its head turned in a different direction. It is said that it spoke in a Malay language and sound like an adult female.

The curse is rumored to have passed on to someone else who found it and untied the cloth unknowingly. The doll has been missing since.

Via India Today.

Don’t Talk So Much: The Macabre History of the Frozen Charlottes

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The dolls originated in the US during the Victorian era, around 1860 and were called Frozen Charlottes, (or Charlie for males), dolls. The dolls were made in response to the enormous popularity of a song, “Fair Charlotte“, which was based on an 1843 poem penned by Maine journalist, Seba Smith, entitled, “A Corpse Going to a Ball.”

There is some debate as to wether Smith’s poem was simply a cautionary tale or based on an actual incident. Whatever the origins, the poem and ballad served as a cautionary tale to young ladies about the dangers of vanity and not heeding your parents.

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The Frozen Charlotte dolls were very small and typically made of porcelain. As they only cost a penny, most children could afford them, only adding to their popularity in Victorian households.

At some point it became very fashionable to begin baking these tiny corpse dolls into birthday cakes or in the UK, in Christmas puddings, as a prize or party favor.

Young Charlotte

Young Charlotte lived by the mountainside in a cold and dreary spot
No other dwelling for miles around, except her father’s cot
And yet, on many a winter’s eve, young swains would gather there
For her father kept a social board and she was very fair

Her father loved to see her dressed prim as a city belle
She was the only child he had and he loved his daughter well
In a village some fifteen miles off there’s a merry ball tonight
Though the driving wind is cold as death their hearts were free and light
And yet how beams those sparkling eyes as the well-known sound she hears
And dashing up to her father’s door, young Charles and his sleigh appears
“Oh, daughter dear”, her mother says, “Those blankets round you fold
For it is a dreadful night to ride and you`ll catch your death of cold”

“Oh nay, oh nay”, young Charlotte said, and she laughed like a gypsy queen
“To ride with blankets muffled up one never would be seen”
Her gloves and bonnet being on, she stepped into the sleigh
And away they rode by the mountain side and it’s o’er the hills and away
There’s music in those merry bells as o’er the hills we go
What a creaking noise those runners make as they strike the frozen snow
And muffled faces silent are as the first five miles are passed
When Charles with few and shivering words the silence broke at last

“What a dreadful night it is to ride. My lines I scarce can hold”
When she replied in a feeble voice, “I am extremely cold”
Charles cracked his whip and urged his team far faster than before
Until at length five other miles in silence were passed o’er

“Charlotte, how fast the freezing ice is gathering on my brow”
When she replied in a feeble voice, “I’m getting warmer now”
And away they ride by the mountain side beneath the cold starlight
Until at length the village inn and the ballroom are in sight
When they drove up, Charles he got out and offered her his hand
“Why sit you there like a monument that hath no power to stand?”
He asked her once, he asked her twice but she answered not a word
He offered her his hand again, but still she never stirred

He took her hand into his own, twas cold as any stone
He tore the veil from off her face and the cold stars on her shone
And quick into the lighted hall her lifeless form he bore
Fair Charlotte was a frozen corpse and a word she ne’er spoke more
He took her back into the sleigh and quickly hurried home
And when he came to her father’s door oh how her parents moaned
They mourned the loss of their daughter dear while Charles wept o’er their gloom
Until at length, Charles died of grief and they both lay in one tomb

Via Nourishing Death.

The Dollhouse Dioramas That Birthed a Forensic Science

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Frances Glessner Lee[‘s] murder miniatures and pioneering work in criminal sciences forever changed the course of death investigations.

When Lee was 4 years old, her mother recorded in her diary that her daughter had stated, “I have no company but my doll baby and God”. [S]he was home-schooled in a fortresslike house that one architect described as “pathologically private”.

Lee learned feminine skills such as sewing, embroidery, painting, and the art of miniatures from her mother and aunts, but at the same time had a fondness for Sherlock Holmes stories and medical texts.

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Lee decided to create her own miniature crime scenes to use for training. She called her creations the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death. “She came up with this idea, and then co-opted the feminine tradition of miniature-making”.

The 20 models Lee created were based on actual crime scenes, and she chose only the most puzzling cases in order to test aspiring detectives’ powers of observation and logic. While some were most definitely the victims of foul play, others could have died of natural causes or suicide. It was up to the detectives to find out.

Three-Room Dwelling (baby’s crib).

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In 1945, Harvard installed the first of Lee’s models, and she began delivering biannual, weeklong seminars that used them as training tools.

Lee once wrote herself, “The Nutshells Studies are not presented as crimes to be solved. Rather, they are designed as exercises in observing and evaluating indirect evidence, especially that which may have medical importance”.

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By Rachel Nuwer via Slate for the full story and additional photos.
Additional photos via Smithsonian.

Toy That Should Be

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In 1928 the German literary critic Walter Benjamin wrote in his essay, The Cultural History of Toys, that, “Children do not constitute a community cut off from everything else…

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…their toys can- not bear witness to any autonomous separate existence, but rather are a silent signifying dialogue between them [children] and their nation.”

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This is not only true for toys (of which much of my work is concerned), but for all manner of objects – artifacts – from our collective past that are formed and fabricated by human hands and intentions.

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This is the realm in which I work and play, and seek to understand my culture and history.

Via Randy Regier.